Turmoil

Wrath:

Nothing had been right since that female showed up at the Audience House. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything and it was pissing me the fuck off. I had gotten to the point where I was sparring every spare moment. I had attempted to spar with Z, but V put a halt to that. So, here I was going fist to fist with him, instead. I was hitting harder than ever before, but I was so screwed up in the head, I barely connected with anything and V was getting the better of me. “Fuck!” I spat, stepping aside for a minute, after V clocked me good.

I needed to get my head in the game. I had been messing up at work, too. The other night I had screamed at a few citizens that couldn’t solve their own problems. Sometimes I felt as though I was just some referee for the race. Can’t resolve an issue amongst yourselves, bring it to the King, even if it is about a stupid chair. A chair. Yes, that’s right. This family lost their grandsire, and he had this chair… anyway, it doesn’t really matter. It was the most asinine thing I had ever heard. They had all deserved a good tongue lashing.

Vishous: 

*While sparring with the King, I started to think he wasn’t even trying. I was waitingfor him to give me everything he had and Nothing I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. * What is going on Wrath are you even trying? *I ask as he stepped aside. You’ve got to let me know what is going through your mind. After that female left the Audience House you haven’t been the same since.

Your yelling at the brothers the citizens even LW has noticed. Your needing to take a break from the Audience House. We all cannot go on like this true? * Something is going on even before that female came along I knew he was just going through the paces. I hate to even think this but our King is losing his mind.*

Wrath:

“Seriously? LW?” I questioned as I began to pace the mats. This had gotten worse than I thought. The Brothers could handle my mood. I had been pretty much a brute about things around the homestead ever since Beth and gone unto The Fade. They were used to it. The Audience House I had wanted to take some time away from for a while, anyway. I was overdue. But, LW… that was a totally different beast. For him to notice a change… I had really fucked up. Par for the course, at this point, though. I couldn’t seem to keep my head out of my ass, as of late, and this female showing up didn’t help. It’s been ten years and I’ve had not one inkling of a feeling towards any female. Not even any of the Chosen that come to force me to feed from them, when I get too weak. Not once have I had any kind of a stirring from below the belt… unless I’m having a dream about my belated Queen. But, this female that came by the Audience House had definitely caused a stirring and it made me feel guilty as hell, and unfaithful, and so fucking wrong. It was as if I had cheated on Beth and I hadn’t even gotten close to the female. I even threw her out. That hadn’t seemed to matter, though. She had barely left my thoughts since. I had heard her voice in my dreams. I wasn’t about to admit that to V, though. “I’m fine, V. It’s nothing. Same shit, different day is all. Let’s close down the Audience House for two weeks. Shift things around. Bring in Saxton, if needed, to discuss with me any urgent matters. Got it?”

Vishous: 

Yes LW. You know he can talk now right? He’s come to me not long ago asking why Dad is so angry *I know there are other things going on in his head, He’s like a fucking valut keeps it locked up tight. Ever since Beth went unto the Fade he has been bitchy like a female but worse than before since that night at the Audience House.* So are we going to talk about that female? Why you were so short with her . Why her?. And Saxton can take care of all the shit being sent in. *I walk back to the middle and tell Wrath to work a little harder at trying to take me down.

I know he can’t his head is all mixed up Maybe I can knock a little sense back into him.*

Wrath:

A growl threatens, “Fuck you, V. I know my son can talk.” He’s coming dangerously close to pissing me off even more. It’s as if he’s taunting me. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make more of an effort around him.” I conceded, although I wasn’t sure how much more of an effort I could make. I had thought I had been doing okay at home. Then again, there were days when I just didn’t care. Depression had been a death sentence for me. Most days, I got through due to LW. Some days though, even he couldn’t get me from evening to morning. On those days, I tried to stay away… from everyone. I knew I wasn’t any fun to be around on a normal day. Those days, I just wanted to cut a bitch, and I was always afraid I might.

Turning towards V’s voice, I bent forward and bolted at him, slamming him to the ground on his back. “I’m not talking about her, man. It was nothing. I was done for the day, that’s all.” I hadn’t realized that by acknowledging his comment, that I was letting him know, that I knew exactly who he was talking about, which in essence gave away the truth, that she had gotten under my skin. “Like I’ve been saying, I’ve needed a break from that place for a while. I had just had enough.” Why did he need to keep bringing her up. Like I needed any kind of reminder. The female dominated my thoughts. I had gotten to the point where I had pretty much spent the past three days drinking myself to bed, in hopes that the alcohol would erase her. No such fucking luck. It just gave me more bizarre dreams about her and massive hangovers in the evening.

Vishous: 

*i knew I was in the wrong bring up LW bit something had to get through to him and I knew that female had messed up his head. Seeing him act that way. The only time I’ve ever seen him go bazaar on another male like he has toward me was his Shellen. 

I seen his body tense up after being up that female at the house and him slamming me to the ground that was the last straw.* ok, that’s not sparing brother. You need to get your fucking head straight and if it has to do with LW or that damn female. Do something then else then drinking your damn black or taking it out on your brotherhood.

*I rip all my sparring gear off throw it on the floor stand there glaring at him with my arms crossed waiting for a response on what I said. And I couldn’t take the silence* I know you know your son can talk now you need to listen to him. To all of us. We all miss Beth because she was the only one that can talk damn sense in your thick skull. Now you need to listen to your own blood brother. We are all here. *tapping my temple even tho I know he can’t see* I still see things in my mind brother.

Wrath:

I could hear V tearing his gear off and making a scene. He should know by now that kicking up the drama wasn’t going to get him anywhere with me, aside from pissing me right the fuck off. “No, you listen up! My son and that female are off fucking limits! I’m not talking to you about either one of them, right now.” It riled me up even more that he thought he could get into my head with all this shit. “It’s been ten years since Beth went unto The Fade. I’m sick and tired of all my Brothers thinking they can throw a switch and I’m all of a sudden going to be fine. It don’t work like that, V. A male’s gotta go through what a male’s gotta go through, and for me that means raising a young all on my own, ruling a whole race…” Growling out the next part, I continued, “oh yeah, and mourning the loss of my mate!” I hadn’t even realized I had been tearing a track in the mats from all my pacing. “I would hate to see the day that you lose your mate, my Brother. Maybe, then I’ll take some advice on the subject from you. Until that day, stop pushing me to get past it. I’ll get there when I get there.”

This whole thing was getting old. The depression sucked ass, the guilt of feeling less than a father to my son was unbearable, the stress of having to rule the race under all these conditions was breaking me, the Brothers thinking I was going to just snap out of it all had me ready to fucking snap in all the wrong ways, and now I had this fucking female that was taking over all my waking thoughts. Talk about fucking guilt! Which reminded me… “And stay out of my head, V!”

Vishous:

*I wouldn’t know what it’s like with losing my Shellen. I came close once.  I wouldn’t want that pain. My Leelan is my world just like my brothers. I know he is in pain but, the race needs home and his son if this female is the cause of his craziness he’s got to stay clear of her.* I’ll hand her problems you need to go back to the audience house and go down to Darius rooms and get away Sire take LW with you if need be. I’ll get with #Saxton and take care of things. 

*I don’t know if this will help. But I think I may need to talk to that female and keep her away.*I know your in pain and I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my Shellen, I don’t know your pain but I did come close to losing her if you remember. I can’t stay out of your head your screaming.

Wrath:

Shaking my head, I respond, “If I’m taking some time away from the Audience House, it’s not going to be in its basement.” Thinking for a minute, I come up with a better plan. Well, maybe not really so much of a great plan, but one that a little more palatable than hanging out downstairs, in the Audience House, the one place I am trying to avoid. “I can hang out here, at the manse. I’ll take LW on a couple of excursions to… “ I began to think about it. Where was I going to take him to? Downtown Caldwell? In the middle of the night? Not! I could take him out to dinner, but how much fun was a young going to have at a restaurant that didn’t have an arcade in it? “I’ll think of something. But, I’m not going to spend my time off in the basement of the building I’m avoiding.”

I begin to shrug off my training gear and kick it off to the side. “Do what you have to with Saxton. I need this time off, now. Not in a couple of weeks. If I have to sit through one more dispute over… what was it? A gaggle(?) of chickens, or whatever they called it… I just might throw my desk at someone.” Pushing my wraparounds up far enough to rub my eyes, I continue, “Make it happen, would ya?”

As I begin to walk away, I reach out and pat V once on the shoulder. “Thanks, man.” I’m not the apologetic type, so I don’t apologize for flattening him on the mat or yelling at him earlier, but V knows I appreciate what he does.

Vishous:

*Listening to what Wrath says I know what I can and can’t say enough to piss him off to get done what needs to be done, And him getting away needs to be done. I see something coming and I don’t want to stop it.* Yeah, I got Saxton, I know what I need to do Sire. *All I can do is nod when he says Thanks to me.* The next time you want to kick someones ass, call Hollywood. *I call behind him as he walks out. Our race is going to flourish again. I know it’s coming I can see it.*