Tohrmented Dreams

Wellsie, my beloved Shellan stood before me, her stomach rounded, our unborn son nestled inside. I listened to my Nalla as she spoke to me about the large order of apples that she and Sarelle had cancelled for the upcoming solstice festival. Now that the Lesser’s knew what the apples were for, it was too dangerous to our species to go ahead with the festival as planned. Other arrangements were to be made and Wellsie and her niece would be visiting Bella’s mother Madalina, for advice on what options we could use which would not be as transparent.

My pregnant Shellan flitted around the kitchen, chattering and gathering things up like a whirlwind and I stifled a laugh. I loved it when she was this energetic and happy. It had been a while since we had celebrated anything as a race and she was putting in some serious effort to make sure our traditions were renewed in the grandest of fashion.

I looked at my watch and sighed, I needed to get up to the Brotherhood compound, I had a shit ton of paperwork to wade through relating to the new trainees and we had a catch up meeting with Wrath and the other Brothers too and Wrath would pitch a fit if I was late.

I pushed away my partly drunk coffee and caught Wellsie and enveloped her in my arms, I buried my nose in her flame locks and breathed in her scent deeply before spinning her around to kiss her. “I have to run Nalla, got to go get things set up for the training programme and stuff up at the compound, but I won’t be home late, ok?” Her eyes twinkled and she nodded, telling me I better be home for Last Meal or she and John Matthew may just eat everything. I gave a playful growl and swatted her ass as she returned to her task.

Grabbing the keys to my car from the console next to the door and stepping outside into the chilled evening, I mentally plotted out my night. Getting into the car, I grinned as the engine purred to life. Yes, I could dematerialise to the compound, but where was the fun in that? With a quick rev of the powerful engine, I peeled out of the drive, sinking my foot on the gas I sped away to the Brotherhood’s mansion and training grounds.

Hours later and a stack of paperwork that resembled a mountain demolished to a small peak, I pushed away from the desk and stretched my frame. I had absentmindedly been rubbing at my chest for an hour or so. A dull ache had formed and I assumed that I had maybe over done it in the gym earlier with JM. But the pain grew sharper to the point that it felt like a sharp knife had been driven into my chest. Leaning over, I used the wall as a support, my arm bracing my frame I stood rubbing my chest more vigorously than before. The pain was growing worse and I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what.

After about an hour of the pain growing stronger, I’d had enough. I was going to go to the PT Suite and see if Doc Jane, Manny or even Ehlena was doing the rounds, get this checked out. But as I made my way to the door a rumble of thunder echoed in the hallway outside my office, the thunder was drawing closer. Except it wasn’t thunder, it was the sound of 7 pairs of shit kickers pounding down the corridor, pausing outside my office door, followed by a deafening knock on the door. I stumbled my way to the door, a slick sweat covered my brow brought on by the pain in my chest. Having the Brotherhood at my door and the constant throbbing ache in my chest, this couldn’t be anything but bad news. Images of Wellsie flooded my mind, our first meeting, our mating ceremony, her needing, the night she told me she was with young, the night JM came home with me.The memories ran through my mind in a loop. I put my hand on the handle and opened the door slowly. Wrath’s huge frame filled the doorway and as I looked over his shoulder I could see Phury, Zsadist, Rhage, Butch, Vishous and John Matthew all standing behind him, eyes full of pity and sorrow.

No, it couldn’t be true, the pain in my chest intensified as I could feel the intense sorrow flowing out of each of my Brothers, growing to the point where I thought my heart would explode right out of my chest. I shook my head firmly. “No, Wrath. Do Not Say It!” I tried to make my voice steady and calm but there was a distinct tremble of fear tainting each word. Wrath took a step toward me, his arm held out to make contact with mine but I stepped back out of his grasp. “Tohr….Brother.”

Wrath’s usually gruff and no-nonsense tone was gone, replaced with one more suited to console a friend. Tears stung my eyes and I wiped them away fiercely. One by one my brothers stepped into the small office until they formed a semi circle in front of me with JM right in the middle, tears freely streaming his face. One look at his face destroyed me, I knew right then that my Shellan was lost to me forever, but was the baby gone too? “Wellsie?” My voice was hoarse with tears, JM nodded slowly he made to take a step toward me but I shook my head. “Baby?” He didn’t even have to answer, the wave of grief was overwhelming. A roar of anguish ripped through every fibre of my being and the room fell instantly cold. At that moment, I could no longer bear to see the distraught faces of my Brothers, or of anyone else. I wanted to be with her, be with them. I had to get out of here. Squeezing my eyes tight, blocking out everything around me I focussed enough to be able to dematerialise out of the room, hoping to escape this torture.

Opening my eyes into the darkness, I took a few calming breaths. I moved my arm slowly and felt a slight form nestle in closer to me. Autumn. The nightmare that had been losing Wellsie had plagued me for a year or more, it receded slowly once Autumn came into my life and slowly began to heal me inside and out. But with the loss of the Queen so fresh, the nightmares had returned. My once beloved Shellan had returned to torment my dreams.

I had to talk to Wrath, I was the only one who had any chance of getting him through his grief, but shit, that was not going to be easy for either of us. But my Brother needed me and I wasn’t about to abandon him the way that I abandoned everyone when I lost Wellsie.

#TohrmentedDreams #EternallyBound