Flashback: Transition Terror: Part 1

I hadn’t been feeling like myself for weeks, my appetite was all over the place and on the rare occasion I was hungry,  the smell of food made me nauseous. On top of that I was so tired, like all the time. Mahmen told me to try to relax, it meant that my transition would very soon be on me.  Internally I winced at the thought that I was going to be finally an adult by the races standards, it also meant that I was going to to be sequestered with a male, another civilian like me.  Patrik was the son of my Father’s closest friend, he had been promised to me as my future Hellren since infancy and it was a done deal, no backsies. It annoyed me to have my life planned out for me,  I wasn’t some weak willed doll that couldn’t make my own decisions and needed a Male to protect me.

I dragged my aching body off of my bed and forced my limbs to carry me through to my bathroom,  the muted light given off by the over sink fixture stang my eyes causing me to hiss and throw my arm over my face.  I flicked the switch to off and slowly removed my the arm that covered my delicate eyes. I blinked once, twice and finally the tears subsided.  I stepped into the bathroom and ran the cold water faucet till the liquid was ice cold. I dipped my hand under the spray and let it pool before splashing it across my skin.  I looked up into the mirror, water dripped from my face, my flame locks sodden. Suddenly a crippling pain tore through my abdomen, I gripped the sink edge, willing the pain to ease off.  

I stood there stooped over for what seemed like forever until the pain released it’s deathgrip on my insides.  I straightened my spine and inhaled deeply, my eyes catching my reflection in the mirror before me. Pain etched into my features, I dabbed the sweat from my brow with a towel and forced myself to leave the cool bathroom, knowing I needed to let Mahmen know it was time, I needed Patrik, and I needed him now.  

Somehow I managed to make it to the door to my room,  I put all my weight behind turning the handle, the door opened with a clunk, slowly swinging open.  My body devoid of the strength to keep me upright, started sliding down the frame of the door. “Mahmen…..help…!” My voice sounded small,  weak and I hated that, hated this, the pain, the suffering that had to be endured.

Mamhen had arranged that Patrik be instaled in our small guest room about 2 weeks ago when she could tell the signs of my transitioning were getting ever closer and it really pissed me off at the time,  I felt like both of them were following me, willing the transition to happen, but now that I needed them, they weren't here. My body had pooled to the floor and I half dragged, half pushed myself into the hallway, our Doggen Susanna came out of a storage cupboard and tripped over my prone form.  Panic setting into her delicate features almost instantly. “Madam, Madam it is time, the Mistress, Madam the Mistress!! *Susanna bent over me and helped me to my feet, I swayed unsteadily, my hands clamped around the Doggen’s forearm as another wave of pain reverberated through my tiny frame.  My head feeling like it was about to pull some sort of exorcist move and rotate 360 and make me puke green shit. Black dots clouded my vision and I knew it was only a matter of minutes if not seconds before I passed out.

Just as my eyesight grew dim,  blackness tunneling my vision to a mere pinprick I could see Patrik and my Mahmen running down the short hallway toward me, I felt light as a feather as I was scooped up into Patrik’s strong arms but everything hurt, even my bones.  He rushed into my bedroom and laid me as gently as possible upon the comforter. I could vaguely see him score his wrist, bringing it to my lips. As my vision finally gave way, I slipped into unconsciousness with the taste of blood on my terrified lips, wondering if I would see those that I loved ever again or would the bleak numbness that had taken over my body, steal me into hellish prison forever.